I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
