Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
