Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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