Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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