Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
