someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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