EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
