her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
