She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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