how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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