I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
