i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
