She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sext me about skeletons
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Holy shit dude........stairs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
