It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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