I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
