Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
