Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
