he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
