I wish I only lived at night.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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