so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How's work?
Spinning.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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