kristin has been a bad kristin
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
