Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need a beard to bite.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
