I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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