but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
