I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
