Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
