I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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