Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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