we're chasing vodka with high fives
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
is that a dick in a sweater?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
