If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
