I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
