Just mADE A PArabola og urine
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
