do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
