The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
