she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
