My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
