Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
