what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my poor anus
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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