Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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