Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
