Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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