I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
they need to just BURY HIM!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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