im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
