So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
