Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
