I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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