every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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