hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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