i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He shit in the fireplace
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
