that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
