i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
