just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
