I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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