so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
